YEAR 1: SEEKING DISCOMFORT

Woah, I think we can all agree that last year, my first year at UC, was a whirlwind of new things, adventures, defeat, and change. So let’s rewind all the way back to August 15, 2021, 10,000 feet in the air somewhere between California and Ohio.

Looking out that tiny airplane window, I had this unsettling feeling about my big move from San Francisco, where I was born and raised, to the unfamiliar land of corn, which was my only identifier of Ohio. But little did I know gazing out the window that this past year would be the best year so far.

But that unsettling feeling was discomfort. And I knew at that moment that I could stay mildly comfortable in my 8x10 square feet dorm room, or I could seek discomfort, get out, live, and grow.

But how does one actually go about this growth? I had no clue so I tried it all. I talked to strangers who would later become good friends. I joined the mountaineering club and scaled a gorge. I drew cubes in my design class like it would be my last square. I bused and walked all around downtown. And I danced my little heart out in the mosh. Everything I did was new to me, and everything I did was some level of discomfort, so I leaned into that discomfort.

And I leaned hard.

Of course, there were setbacks like the mid-day sob fest to my parents in the DAAP 5th floor bathroom or the sinking feeling of missing the familiarity of home.

But it’s funny how in the moment, life feels like it’s moving fast, and it’s only when you stop and take a look that you realize how you have grown and changed and how beautiful and messy your experiences have been.

And maybe I took that from Ferris Bueller, but it only hit me staring at the walls of my childhood bedroom this summer how far I’ve grown this past year.

I am so much more confident with my identity, being myself, and being a design student. Talking to strangers at a party gave me the confidence to ask for help from my professors and talk to future employers. Scaling a gorge taught me to push my physical limits and love my body. Drawing cubes made me passionate about school and my career as an industrial designer. Walking and busing gave me the freedom to explore new places and cultures and connect with my home for the next 5 years. And moshing taught me to have fun, let loose, and enjoy life.

Seeking discomfort has been my best choice and a choice I will always continue to make. Instead of the unsettling feeling it once gave me, it’s now a fire that pushes me to learn about myself and grow as a person and student.

Now on the plane this August back to UC, I’ll be writing down a list of things that make me uncomfortable with the heading: to do.